Rey,
If it had been you who came to me wanting freedom, wanting a chance to find yourself and maybe love someone else for a while, I know I would’ve reacted badly. It would kill me to see you with someone else, especially if you loved them. Especially if I was afraid you loved them more than me.
I can’t imagine loving anyone more than I love you. We have so much history together; nothing and no one could ever take that away from us. It’s just that I have lived with you for so much longer than I’ve lived without you. I don’t even know who I am without you beside me. I am only trying to find out.
Asking for my freedom is hard. Part of me wants you to take me away, to refuse me and make my decisions for me. Surrendering to you is like a drug to me, always tempting, because I know how good it will feel. I just lose myself when I do that. You take me over.
Everything is so fleeting. This experience. These friends of mine. This boy. Even this ring. I know I may not be able to keep these things forever. Eventually, someone may send me back into the dark again. Living in the light is so hard, but it makes me feel like I could be redeemed someday. I need that.
Whatever you choose, I will honor your decision. You are my Maker. I am your child. Always.
Don’t forget to come kiss me goodnight.
Love,
Melanie
If it had been you who came to me wanting freedom, wanting a chance to find yourself and maybe love someone else for a while, I know I would’ve reacted badly. It would kill me to see you with someone else, especially if you loved them. Especially if I was afraid you loved them more than me.
I can’t imagine loving anyone more than I love you. We have so much history together; nothing and no one could ever take that away from us. It’s just that I have lived with you for so much longer than I’ve lived without you. I don’t even know who I am without you beside me. I am only trying to find out.
Asking for my freedom is hard. Part of me wants you to take me away, to refuse me and make my decisions for me. Surrendering to you is like a drug to me, always tempting, because I know how good it will feel. I just lose myself when I do that. You take me over.
Everything is so fleeting. This experience. These friends of mine. This boy. Even this ring. I know I may not be able to keep these things forever. Eventually, someone may send me back into the dark again. Living in the light is so hard, but it makes me feel like I could be redeemed someday. I need that.
Whatever you choose, I will honor your decision. You are my Maker. I am your child. Always.
Don’t forget to come kiss me goodnight.
Love,
Melanie